There Are Always Two Sides to Everything!

I have the privilege of working with and being friends with some wonderfully wise people.  I spend my lunches chatting with a teacher whom I really admire and appreciate.  We share our lives, discuss interesting books that we’ve read, air our frustrations, and generally just try to help bear each other’s burdens.  I find myself paying careful attention to people I trust and watching how they handle situations.  I want to glean as much wisdom from them as I can. 

My teacher-friend said something really interesting a few months ago.  A book she was reading pointed out that a person’s strengths are also rooted in a person’s weaknesses.  Think of it like a rope in a game of tug-of-war.  Your strengths pull the rope in one direction, and the weaknesses pull in the other.  The more I thought about this, the more I realized how true it really is…and I feel silly that I hadn’t thought of it myself. 

Take a second to think about one of your primary strengths.  What benefits are there to your strength?  How does it enhance your life?  One of my strengths is that I am pretty easy-going.  Not much gets me upset.  This has proven to be an asset in many ways.  When my students do something frustrating, I am able to handle it without showing signs of frustrations.  When tempers flare, I can often find ways to cool things down.  I am really content under most circumstances. 

Okay, now think about how that strength also has a flip-side.  In what ways does your strength get in your way?  How might it rear its ugly head in a negative sense?  My easy-going nature can really frustrate my husband.  He’s pretty tenacious, so he doesn’t always understand my “be calm” attitude.  I can be complacent and dare-I-say stagnant.  I don’t take risks because I am happy and therefore don’t always push myself for better. 

It has been interesting to look at my own behavior in light of this two-sides-to-the-coin point of view.  While I hate that I’m not more competitive, I love that I am very accepting of people and their differences.  My husband’s get-it-done attitude is not only admirable, but sexy, and I wish that I could be more aggressive in certain ways.   But I love that I always aim to treat people as kindly and gently as possible. 

I guess what I’m getting at is that we can wish we were different or yearn to be someone else, but who we are, both good and bad, is rather tangled up.  I could strip myself of my “be chill” attitude, but I don’t think I’d like the negative side of that behavior.  I think I need to start appreciating who God created me to be and capitalize on those things I am proud of.  I’m not saying we can’t work hard to cull out the things in our personalities or behavior that we don’t like…There are plenty of things I am working hard to improve about myself.  It is really healthy to nurture our strengths and work on improving our weaknesses.  But it’s not healthy to walk through life full of regrets and if-only’s.

So, take stock of the things about you that you are proud of.  Celebrate what makes you YOU!  Work on the things that need improving, by all means, but spend lots of time simply enjoying the person you are and the way you enhance the lives of others.  The more we focus on the positives, the more effective we can be in our lives.

Living on the Brink . . . .

Have you ever experienced the feeling of being “on the brink”?  It’s that feeling deep inside that something is about to change or burst forth, but you can’t grasp what exactly it is.  It’s like that feeling you get when you wake up from a dream and the shadow of the dream remains but you can’t conjure up the precise images anymore.  

Maybe my current feelings are appropriate for this time of year.  Everything is new.  Each day tender little leaves are unfurling from their curled cocoons.  Grass is poking up from bare spots of earth.  Birds are returning from winter getaways and filling the morning air with their songs.  This is how I feel.  Like something new and green and exciting is sitting just beneath the surface waiting to emerge. 

I am trying to be very alert during this time, because I think the Holy Spirit is at work and I don’t want to miss what He has in store.  So often I fear that I have let God down because I miss (or reject) the opportunities that He has set in front of me.  So I lean heavily into His word and keep my ears attuned to His direction. 

I took a class recently on improving my speaking abilities.  The instructor gave us tools to further our study once the class was over, and she left us with this thought:   When we focus our attention on something that we are trying to learn, when we submerge ourselves into a particular study or interest, everywhere we look we will see answers to our questions.  The topic will emerge wherever we go.  It’s the same concept where, when you buy a car, suddenly you see that car all over town.   So I plan to keep my eyes and ears open and hang onto God’s word which says, “Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?”  (Isaiah 43:19). 

I can’t wait to see what God is up to now.

The Problem with Clichés....

We’ve all heard the saying, “Live each day like it might be your last.”  The problem with this saying is that it’s a cliché.  The problem with clichés is that they once contained volatile truths, but they got so overused and overstated that they have become hollow of meaning.  I believe firmly in the truth that this cliché propounds.  Despite the fact that I believe it, I also quickly forget the weight of its meaning. 

Today I attended a memorial service of a man I deeply respected and genuinely liked.  His death came as a shock to everyone he knew.  Sitting in the church pew today, I listened to people talk about the way Jeff impacted their lives.  I heard their stories and joined in their tears.  One of the speakers said something that really got my attention.  He said he was trying to process his feelings about Jeff’s death when his son reminded him of a profound truth:  We go through this life not thinking that we will lose people whom we love.  But we do suffer lost, it is a part of life, and we are foolish to lose sight of this truth.  

As this message sunk in, that familiar old cliché took on new life.  While I want to live in such a way that I treat each day and each encounter as a treasure, too often I get caught up in the petty things of life.  How easy it is to let the cares of the day pile up and stress me out.  On days like this I come home short of breath and short of temper.  I get fussy about stupid things and snippy about stuff that really doesn’t matter. 

I love the idea of viewing each day as my last, but I too easily forget.  I think the way to bring new meaning to an old cliché is to view it this way:  Love each other like it might be their last day.  When I look at the faces of those I love, and when I think it might be possible that tomorrow I won’t get to take back that tone of voice or silly argument, suddenly something inside me changes.  I want set my frustration aside, focus all of my attention and care on that face, and appreciate that singular, priceless moment.  I hope the more I practice this mindfully, the more it will grow into not just a nice idea, but a way of life.