A Wealth of Wisdom from My Current Self to My Naive Past Self....

Dearest Past Me,

I want you to know, first and foremost, that I love you.  I think you are witty and creative and helpful and kind….with that said, I think you’ve got a lot of learning to do.  No disrespect, but you’ve found some awfully creative ways to do some awfully dumb things.  Although I don’t have a super-cool time machine DeLorean that will allow me to go back and visit you, I am putting this letter in a bottle, releasing it on the Coeur d’Alene River, and hoping that it will somehow make its way back to you.  Because frankly, my dear, you need my help.

My goal is to offer you words of wisdom in the hopes that you will avoid some of the awkward positions and conundrums I know you will find yourself in.  I know you mean well, but honestly, I think my experience (as your future self) is incredibly valuable to you.  Read this letter over and over again (because we all know what kind of terrible memory you have).  Soak up the wisdom and avoid those pitfalls I know are awaiting you.  Please, for the love of Pete, take my advice.  I offer it with great earnestness. 

Tip #1:  Don’t be in such a hurry.  Really, Me, you are always rushing around.  You need to learn to chill out.  It would be helpful if you would stop hitting the “snooze” button on your alarm clock so much.  You will find that your day is much better when you are not racing from one place to the next.  When you turn 23 you are going to get pulled over because you were speeding to your summer job.  You could avoid that situation altogether (but, since you are not yet aware, I can tell you that the police officer will take pity on you because you are very cute and charming, plus you were trying to get to your job with the Boy Scouts – no lie, you will work a summer at Boy Scout Camp – and you had proof of this because you were wearing your Scout uniform.  Apparently even police officers can’t resist a person in uniform).  Listen, you will do yourself the greatest kindness to give yourself time to relax, wake up, and start the day on the right foot.  Maybe have a mug of tea (if you don’t already, you will find that you have a particular affinity for Earl Grey).

Tip #2:  Savor the little moments.  They are often better than the big flashy events.  Do you know what you will remember when you are older?  You will recall going to the 3D version of “Brave” with your 90 year old gramma, your cousin, and her daughter.  You will think fondly about wearing your 3D glasses and watching a cartoon heroine fight for what she wants out of her life.  You will think about how you went to get frozen yogurt afterwards, and what a simple, special day that was.  Obviously, you will enjoy reminiscing about how your boyfriend (and first kiss when you were 16) proposed to you (spoiler alert!) at Wolf Lodge on the anniversary of your first date.  Trust me, that memory will give you smiles.  But you will also get great pleasure in recalling that hot July day you and your hubby will spend laying in the bow of the boat reading magazines and eating fried chicken.  The little things matter, Past Me. 

Tip #3:  Talk, I mean really talk, with your family members.  You have your sister-in-law to thank for this life lesson.  She lost her mother too early, and she will implore you to value the relationships in your life.  She will encourage you to ask lots of questions and get lots of opinions about everything.  Find out what your treasured people value in life, and why.  Ask what they think about things.  Lots of things.  Don’t just talk about Survivor and The Bachelor (FYI, these are really mindless television shows that you will be embarrassed to admit you watch, but secretly you will find them addictive and fun.  This is the cotton candy of the nutritional world of entertainment.  Empty calories, but oh-so delicious.  Just embrace this).   The mundane conversation can be fun, but really digging into important topics will teach you how to be a better person. 

Tip #4:  Be honest!  This one will be hard for you, Past Me.  You don’t like to hurt peoples’ feelings.  You squirm when the conversation gets too difficult.  Listen, you need to get over this.  Being honest – even if that means you are talking about uncomfortable things – makes your relationships deeper and more real.  Your lovely, beautiful cousin Allison really impressed this truth upon you this past year (Ha! Get it?  Truth? Be honest -- your love of bad puns is alive and well, Past Me).  That girl is both hilarious AND honest.  Bluntly so.  And she doesn’t cower about it, either.  She just says what she thinks.  And you are going to find that is the most refreshing thing in the world.  So, give your cousin a hug when you see her, because she taught you how to be a better person and live a more truthful life.  What a gal. 

Tip #5:  Go ahead and make mistakes.  You’ll be fine.  Trust me.  Dear, you’ve always been a perfectionist.  You take life way too seriously, and when you fail, even on the smallest level, it kills you.  Crushes you.  Levels you.  Take it from me, Kid, life is all about making mistakes.  Your problem has always been that you think making mistakes means you are a failure as a person.  Not so….making mistakes and screwing up, this is what we human beings do well.  And frequently!   So listen carefully while I tell you the secret to a happy life:  Don’t let mistakes break your spirit.  Just pick yourself up, have a good laugh (or cry, if necessary), and then (here’s the kicker) learn from your error.  Mistakes are inevitable.  Learning from them is the proverbial icing on the delicious cake of life.  The lessons make you a better person, but are not reflective of who you are at your core.  So don’t get freaked out by these things, dear.  For instance, because you will think it is a good idea to eat an entire wheel of brie, you will learn that it’s not good for your digestive system to process 16 ounces of delicious, high-fat cheese.  Yes, your husband will be at work and you apparently won’t feel like cooking, but you should probably not do that, okay?  Even if it sounds like a great idea at the time.  Mistake made, lesson learned.  See how easy that is?

Tip #6:  In your worst moments you will probably do your best growing.  You have a thick skull.  (Look at me, practicing my truthfulness!  Woo hooo!).  You do not seem to learn your lessons the easy way.  Your first break up (devastating!), that big fight you will have with a friend (so uncomfortable), switching jobs (can you say “fish out of water”?), having to learn all kinds of technological mumbo jumbo and completely revamp your classes and teaching style (unpleasant is putting it mildly)…all those painful moments will really refine you as a person.  They will make you better in the long run.  Your first break up will teach you to stand on your own two feet.  It will help you figure out who you are as a person.  That fight will teach you to argue lovingly and patiently.   Switching jobs will teach you how to take risks and see that stepping out into the unknown can pay off in big ways.  And all the technological junk?  It will increase your tolerance for change, it will stretch you as a teacher, and it will cause you to lean on your (very smart, very kind) colleagues when you need help.  So maybe you should stop squirming when things get uncomfortable and get excited for all the ways you will bloom under that pressure. 

And some last minute quick tips just for good measure:  You’ve got a lot to think about, Past Me, and I don’t want to overwhelm you.  So ponder all these thoughts and wait for my next message in a bottle, where I will share more sage wisdom from my many experiences.  Here’s a few for the road…Cookie dough really isn’t a nutritious dinner.  Don’t go out on that one date (you’ll know what I mean when you get there.  You’ll have that little warning, and this time, for Heaven’s sake, listen to the warning.  Use that four hours for something more enjoyable…like scrubbing your kitchen floor).  Mice are perfectly okay with breeding with their siblings…Check the mouse’s gender before you adopt a roommate for Patch.  Have Pook double-check Cory’s saddle before getting on.  Don’t put glassware on the floor because you’ll step on it and try to cut off your toe.  Trust your instincts…they’re frighteningly accurate.    And, on second thought, who says cookie dough isn’t a good dinner?   Go for it.  Life’s too short to miss the fun stuff.