Sit! Stay! Stop Being Such a Wimp!

This is embarrassing to admit, but I am learning a lot about myself in Basic Dog Obedience class.  Noel and I attended our first class last Saturday.  Our instructor, who is a longtime member of the Coeur d’Alene Dog Fanciers Club, is a spit-fire little woman who informed our class of five dogs and their humans that she has been doing this “since before any of you were born.”  She has a commanding presence that is packed into a small package.  Her name is Doris. 

I hope Doris doesn’t flunk me.

Noel learned some basic skills:  sit, stay, heel, and come.  Well, she hasn’t actually learned “come” yet.  I was practicing with her on Sunday when she was off leash outside and she just stared at me quizzically.  When she didn’t move, I stepped toward her and she shot straight up in the air and bolted three cabins away.  So, we have some work to do. 

But I’m learning a lot.  As I was standing on the floor with my four other classmates, trying to teach Noel to sit, she kept sitting facing me.  The key is that she must be sitting at my left and facing out the same way that I am facing.  Noel just wouldn’t do it.  She would sit sideways and look up at me.  Doris tried to teach me to use the training treat to get her to turn properly, but I flailed and Noel just looked at me strangely.  “Here,” said Doris, “hand me the leash.”  With a few deft moves, Doris had Noel sitting precisely as prescribed.  I tried again and, as usual, Noel sat sideways.  Alas.

To help expedite Noel’s transition into our house, I have been reading and reading everything I can about dog training.  One thing I have learned is that dogs thrive when they have a clear sense that their human is the “pack leader.”  According to Cesar Millan, the Dog Whisperer of television fame, dogs are often nervous and uneasy if they think that they (the dog) are the pack leaders.  The quicker humans can make it clear that they are the leaders, the more comfortable and relaxed their dogs will become. 

Here’s what I learned at last Saturday’s class:  My lack of conviction in myself is instantly detectable by Noel.  I am hesitant, timid, and I question myself constantly.  When I watched Doris teach Noel a proper “sit” in thirty seconds, I realized that my lack of self-confidence is traveling right down the leash.  The question is, who else is picking up on my uncertainty?  My students?  Their parents?  My boss?  Cesar Millan teaches his clients to be the leader.  “Just convey confidence,” he says, “and your dog will respond.”  I need to work on this, not only for Noel’s sake, but for my own sake.

Because I’ve been ruminating on this issue all week, I have caught myself apologizing for things that I shouldn’t apologize for.  I had a computer glitch and sent an email to our tech guru.  I began my email like this:  “I’m really sorry to bother you, and this isn’t an emergency, but…”  Wow.  Talk about letting my lack of self-confidence travel right out my fingers and onto my keyboard.  (For the record, I deleted the mamsy-pamsy opening).  Our neighbors above us found themselves in a real pickle last night.  Their car slid off the side of their driveway, was tilting at a precarious angle, and their tires couldn’t get traction on the ice.  I happened to hear them spinning their wheels, so I went up to see if I could help.  After I wrangled up some de-icer and sand and gave their car a push, they were home free.  “I’m so sorry this happened to you,” I said.  Well, I was sorry for them, but the way I said it, you’d think I was the one who drove their car off the road.  If someone bumps into me, I swiftly apologize.  I nearly banged my head on my desk when yesterday I said to my students, “I’m sorry, but you have some homework for tomorrow.”

I’m sorry, self, but you’re way too sorry for your own good.

Our minds are incredibly powerful.  Our thoughts run rabbit trails in our brains, and I wonder how much of what we think is actually detrimental to our confidence.  I wonder how many times a day I criticize myself without even consciously realizing it. I think Cesar Millan is right:  I need to walk like I’m confident and make a concerted effort to change these subtle bad habits that are actually making me not a pack leader but a shrinking violet.  I want to be strong and confident like the feisty Doris.

More importantly, I am trying to remind myself that I carry the power of Christ within me.  Why wouldn’t I be eager to tap into that power He freely gives me?  One of my favorite Bible stories is from the Book of Joshua.  God has directed Joshua to lead the Israelites to Jericho, and their job is to march around the city until the walls fall down.  It’s a crazy task.  I’m sure they felt silly.  They had to do this for seven days.  I’d feel like a complete nerd walking around the walls.  And if I were Joshua trying to lead a whole group of people in this endeavor, I would question my own sanity.  But they did it, and on the seventh day they even blew horns and trumpets.  They had confidence in their God, so that was enough to keep them putting one foot in front of the other.  Joshua certainly tapped into the strength of God.  And I bet he had one thought fixed in his mind.  Prior to their march, God had said to Joshua, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9).

So, my goal is to keep this thought fixed in my mind as well.  I have a deep well of strength right within my heart, thanks to the incredible grace of God.  I am going to tap into this power and become the pack leader, and Noel is going to stop chasing the cats.  And ultimately I am going to guard my mind against these thoughts that ever-so-subtly imply that I am “less than.”

Who knew taking Noel to obedience training would prove to be so enlightening?